Hello!
Two days ago I wrote about my lovely day in hope of the happiness lasting even longer. It didn't. Yesterday was one of the toughest days I've had here so far, with panic and anxiety attacks leaving me to crave a cigarette and my old harmful ways. Work was totally fine but as I left my work being on my way to class everything just hit me. One of them being a dangerous man in my home country saying any woman that rejects him could get raped, and that he have raped others before. And that's not all. Women are scared for their lives and the police doesn't care. They aren't taking it seriously. And I just feel so, so bad for so many reasons. First of all, the 2 year anniversary of the first rape I was a victim of is coming up, and secondly, when is the law ever going to protect us, the real victims? The victims aren't the ones that made a "rapey mistake". That is still a crime. And I am sorry that the perpetrator was raised to think that women's bodies belong to them and that the bubble in which they aren't breaking the law burst. But a rapist is not a victim. A victim of crime, a victim of rape is a real victim. And last but absolutely not least, I am so afraid that one, two or three women has to be killed for the police to take this kind of threat to women seriously.
After 20 minutes of just sulking I texted one of the people that makes me feel like a princess even though my face is completely cried out, went to class in a state of I don't care, just let me sleep, walked home and called him for just another good chat that warms my heart.
Today I woke up at 8 ish, took a shower got dressed, went to have breakfast and got told that it was a different plan for the day than usual today and that we were going to the school of the eldest to see him sprint. It would have been just fine to change the plans if the nanny that was taking the baby wouldn't have picked the worst day to run late at. So we ran with the stroller until we could get a hold of a rental car through the app system and threw ourselves in. Parked very badly, as all italians do, on the side of the road and ran towards the race. We were a good 15 minutes late, thankfully, italian schools aren't that punctual either so we just sat back and waited for the boy to run. When he finished we went back home with the middle child that cheered on her brother with me and my host mom. When we came home I rested for 15 minutes and went back to the school to take him and his friend to swimming class. I stayed there for about an hour to wait him out and take him home. When we got home at 2 ish we had lunch, I brought them to grandma' and then I quit for the day. Probably the shortest day I've had in a long time. Not in hours, but compressed ones. So now I am actually off, hanging out in the house that I work in due to WiFi issues at home and I have the cutest little office in the girl's closet within the walls of the children's room that isn't that comfortable, but it has charm.
Later tonight I am hanging out with a guy that could become my friend, but I'm not certain yet. If so, I might go to Florence with him because the girl that was supposed to go with me totally dissed me for a complete unknown reason. Fun fact though, at home my closest friends are my girl friends and I got barely no guy friends. However here it is the complete opposite! I'm not sure how, but I've got more guy friends then girls and at this point, my life as a party princess is completely gone, because I know of no-one that prefers clubbing over a drink in the bar. It's a weird feeling... How do the clubbers with only barers as friends survive? Kind regards, I miss going locooo